Next at the Kansas City Infertility Awareness Conference: Kerry Christifano, LPC regarding stress and infertility.

• Stress is the result of anything we find threatening or harmful, and infertility certainly fits that description.
• The media implies that infertility is your fault, and well-meaning but uneducated family and friends don't help.
• Lots of bad information out there with people making many assumptions about stress and infertility. When you want to hear from family and friends, "How can I help you?" you instead too often hear, "You're too fat/too thin/too obsessed!" etc.
• The worst thing if you're trying to conceive is to hear someone say, "You should just adopt." (Unfortunately, most people at the conference report having heard at least one of these insensitive comments.)
• But, instead of just saying, "Don't say that to me!" tell your family and friends what they can say and/or do to help. Don't be afraid to be specific.
• Although there are no good studies out there about stress and infertility, it's highly unlikely stress alone causes infertility. But, it's well-know how stressful receiving a diagnosis of infertility can be.
• High stress levels are associated with decreased IVF success rates, so if you are going through infertiilty treatments, practice whatever stress reduction techniques work for you that help reduce that stress level.
• Women and men react very differently to stress, especially stress around infertility. The most important thing you can do is talk to each other, and look for help from a counselor to help you talk if you need it.
• Remember two things: - first, you are not alone. Literally millions of people in the U.S. alone are experiencing infertility right now. Also, remember that infertility is a temporary crisis. No matter how your infertility is resolved, you will make it through. Build and hang onto support systems to help get you through.