A Q&A with a Patient Battling Recurrent Miscarriage - Shannon Willhite

Q: You have an amazing story. Would you tell us about having your children?

A: My son, Jake, was born in 1990 nine weeks prematurely, and that set the precedent for future pregnancies. It took us six years to feel brave enough to have another baby, and when we did, unfortunately, that baby - who we named Jordan - died. She was born twenty weeks prematurely and was stillborn. I was devastated. After that, we got pregnant two more times and both ended very early - around six weeks - in miscarriage. At that point, (husband) Bill's boss was friends with a local fertility expert who talked with Bill and said, "I have this guy I want you to go see." And Bill said yes, of course, as I was saying, "No, I don't want to." I wasn't exactly happy with the doctor that I had because he was saying, "Just keep trying, just keep trying, it will happen." But, I was so emotionally scarred at that point that I couldn't.

So the first day I went to see Dr. Simckes, he spent 90 minutes with me, both in his office and for a physical exam. He told me I had Asperger Syndrome, and of course, I said, "What is that?" He explained what it was and said, "I want you to come back tonight. Bring your husband, bring your little boy, and I'll explain it all to your husband." So we went back that night and Dr. Simckes spent another 90 minutes with us that night. He was completely convinced that he knew what it was and knew how to take care of it. We did several tests, and 18 months later, I had my daughter Sammy. It took a lot of intervention, help and support. Dr. Simckes saw me 41 times - every single week during my pregnancy, and every week, I had an ultrasound. He was incredibly supportive and I can't say enough about him. I went on to have another daughter, Kennedy, as well - I think I'm the only patient who's had a cerclage twice!

Q: Beyond spending more time with you than probably any other doctor ever had, what else was it about Dr. Simckes that gave you confidence?

A: Just his whole persona. Every time I saw him, he just knew when I was really stressed. When I was pregnant, I would walk in and say, "I think something's wrong." And he knew how to calm me down and say, "Everything's fine, let's do an ultrasound so you can see the baby moving and know everything's fine. He knew how to make me feel comfortable and make me feel like it was going to be successful. I ended up going full term - 38 weeks - with my two pregnancies supported by Dr. Simckes.

Q: Would you talk about the emotional difficulties you faced with having lost a child at 20 weeks to stillbirth as well as your two miscarriages?

A: After losing Jordan, in my subsequent pregnancies I was on bedrest with the circlages, so I just holed up in my house and did a lot of Internet support groups, because I couldn't leave the house. I kind of had to deal with it on my own. We didn't tell anyone we were having another girl, because I needed to deal with it in my own mind that it wasn't going to be Jordan, before we had to face other people saying, "It's a girl, and it's not Jordan." So you kind of have to live through it and go through it and come out on the other side.

Q: What advice would you give to women who have lost a child or have had recurrent miscarriages and are ready to give up?

A: It is hard to try again. It is hard to keep going. I think to be able to try again, you have to find that person who is going to give you the hope and make you believe in yourself and in them and that you can do it. Dr. Simckes gave me and my husband the confidence to try again - that we could have a successful pregnancy and that he was going to do everything he could to make it turn out okay. I would also recommend that you go and talk to Dr. Simckes. Don't wait if you're having trouble getting pregnant - just go. Go and start asking questions now.

Q: Why would you recommend Dr. Simckes to other women?

A: He has the confidence in himself and the abilities he has. He's going to do everything he can to help you become pregnant and have a successful pregnancy - but it's more than just confidence. He's a wonderful person who you feel comfortable with and know that he's going to spend as much time as he can with you. When he's in the room with you, you are the only patient in the world - there's no one else. The rest of the world doesn't even exist. You are it. He spoiled me to ever go to another doctor of any type because he's so thorough and so willing to answer any question. And, he picks up on it if you're hesitant and will prod you until you ask the question you need to ask but are afraid to ask. He's just an all-around amazing person! 

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites