Success After Recurrent Miscarriage - Donna Nichols

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My personal journey to become a mom began years ago. What seemed like a lifetime of waiting, turned into what will be a lifetime of happy days. Had it not been for you, Dr. Simckes, I know there would be no story to tell. We met nearly five years ago after my cousin Gina insisted I see you - “he is the best,” she said.  As I sat in your office with those seven little white sticks, each bearing a very faint pink line, and numbered by what day they were taken, you did not judge, or even think, that it was bizarre that I sat before you with all of my hopes and dreams measured by those faint pink lines. It was decided that I would have a blood test to determine if I was definitely pregnant. A day later, I received a call from your office to let me know that I was, indeed, pregnant. Shortly thereafter, another test was taken only to find out that it was not meant to be; this disappointment would be the first bump on the long winding road to becoming a mother. I was beside myself, but you had a plan.

That very same day I underwent the first of many blood tests. It was found that I had a mutation of my MThFr chromosome, which is just a big fancy term for the fact that my blood would not clot and that I would need to give myself shots to help sustain my pregnancy. Armed with this information we determined it was time to try again. It was not much longer than a month or two later when it happened again. I was pregnant and ecstatic – could this be it?  Will I finally be a mommy? Very quickly my happiness turned to sadness…it was not meant to be. This process continued two more times. Each time adding a layer of complications and a plan that would get me to my goal: to be a mommy.

After my fourth miscarriage, it took me some time to get pregnant again. During one of my visits that December, we found a small polyp and I underwent minor surgery to remove it. During the surgery, it was discovered that I had an infection in my uterus and it was preventing my babies from attaching. At last we had our answer. To cure the infection, I went on a strong course of antibiotics and was sent off to get pregnant once again.

After a course of fertility treatments, at last I was pregnant again, but this time it was different. Week after week, you carefully monitored me and the baby. But once again, I had to part with my precious child, which was lost shortly after six weeks. It was a Friday when we found out. After not finding a heartbeat and after some careful thought by you, you sent me over to the hospital for another ultrasound. You said you did not want me think what if it was a mistake. But, the hospital confirmed what you already knew was true. My baby was indeed no longer living. Most doctors would have stopped there -- after all, the weekend was approaching. But not you; you were adamant to find out what happened. So you scheduled a D&C the very next day,  a SATURDAY – the Saturday of Father’s Day weekend, in fact. This would allow us the opportunity to collect my baby’s DNA to help us find out what happened. It was later found that the baby suffered from chromosome abnormalities. I cried what seemed to be a river; a river that I would later need to find the strength to cross, and the courage to try again.

A few months later we found out I was pregnant again.  The pregnancy was very short lived and I lost the baby just a few days later.  Early the next year, I became pregnant again and just like before between the sixth and seventh week,  I lost yet another baby.  I was so angry.  I had moved past the grief and anger had set in.  I could not even look at another mother without thinking why her?  Why not me?  I would have stood on my head for the whole nine months if I could only have a baby in the end.  I was discouraged, but you said we will try again.  I remember thinking how can we try again; we tried so many times before and just look at how it ended -- with broken dreams.  But through it all there was one thing I knew for sure.  If it was at all possible for me to have a baby, you would be the only doctor to make it happen.

That October I became pregnant again, and just like the other times, I lost the baby between the sixth and seventh week. Another holiday weekend (this time Thanksgiving) – another lost child. We collected the DNA just like before.  But this time the results were different. It was a NORMAL boy. Not a thing wrong with the baby. But, my body just could not carry him. I was devastated. I can remember so clearly the day you told me I lost the baby. You, in your nice crisp clean white lab coat and me with a few choice words to say.  I cried on your shoulder and my makeup ran down your coat. You didn’t even mind. I can’t begin to tell you what wonderful supportive care that you, Mary Kay, Kristen, Barbara and Tami gave me. Your office team are not just people at work; they are a highly- skilled sensitive team that cared about me. The sorrow I felt, they seemed to feel, too. You said we will try again. I remember thinking how can we try again when we don’t have a plan? What will we do different next time to break the cycle?

In April, I became pregnant again, no plan -  or so I thought. The tenth pregnancy would be different because I was carrying baby Jack. It was a long complicated pregnancy. This time another medication was added to the long list of medicine I was already taking. This medicine proved to be what was missing before. So with twice-daily shots, twice-daily suppositories and a few other drugs, off I went to enjoy some much needed stress-free time off work. Now that was a little joke. How could I live stress-free while I was worrying every waking moment and every sleepless night about my baby? Week after week I came to see you -- each time holding my breath -- until I saw that beautiful heartbeat.

Finally I made it to the eighth week, but my hope of enjoying the rest of my pregnancy was short-lived. I tested positive with a 1 in 61 chance of Trisomy 18. An amniocentesis would be needed to determine for sure if the baby would be okay. I dug deep down inside myself to search for the right answer. How could I put myself and my baby at risk of yet another miscarriage? I knew the chances were slim, but I could just not succumb to taking any further risk. Doctor, I asked you, “If it were you and your wife in my shoes what would you do?”

You told me you would not risk it -- even though I’m sure that every fiber of your schooling told you I should take the test. So then I started the monthly level 1 ultrasounds; and you guessed it, Jack was not going to be cooperative. We needed to see all chambers of his heart and he would not allow the tech to take the pictures. After four months, they were finally able to see everything they needed to see and I would have some relief in knowing that my baby may be okay, although we would not know for certain until he was born.

On Friday, January 4, 2008, the awaited day finally arrived. Finally, after nine miscarriages I gave birth to a 5 pound, 12 ounce beautiful perfect baby boy. All the pain, years of longing, and tears of sorrow were instantly wiped away the very moment I laid eyes on him. 

My journey was deeply personal. I often felt alone during my struggles and searched for someone else that had similar hurdles. I needed to know it was possible. I needed to know that there were options for me. I searched and searched but every time came up empty handed. Therefore, I write this in hopes that others may find support in reading.

While this is long overdue, I still struggle to find the words…and I don’t know how to properly thank you for giving me the most precious gift of all, my own miracle, Jack David. Without you, there would not be this baby to love. Dr. Simckes, I thank you from the depths of my soul. You and your team were my support that carefully guided me through a very difficult time in my life. Thank you for your tenacity and for never giving up.  You knew even when I didn’t. You had faith even when I couldn’t. I cherish the day I found you. I will never be able to fully put into words my deepest gratitude for you. Thank you so very much.

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